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Releasing anger is such an important subject when it comes to reducing stress and our quality of life. Many of us carry around deep, deep anger for our entire lives. We could be mad at a parent, a spouse, or a situation from years past. It’s essential to our health to figure out how to release this anger and move on in our lives.

#1. Realize we aren’t the victim

This is a major factor in releasing anger. We need to understand sometimes there are circumstances out of our control. If we’re busy playing the victim, if everything is some one else’s fault, then we’ll have a very difficult time letting go.

Often it’s not even our fault. Some times we do everything right in a given circumstance and we still don’t see the results we’re looking for. Letting go of self guilt in a circumstance is another way we can address releasing anger.

#2. Many times these things happen for the best

During the most difficult times it’s very hard to see outside the box, it’s hard to look from the outside in and it’s very hard to understand some situations that seem difficult are for the best. If we’re in a toxic environment, if our body is screaming for some stress relief and it’s time for us to move on, we’ll find a way to move on. It may not be consciously but deep down we know we need to move on which doesn’t mean it’s any easier to understand why or figure out how this is the best for us.

#3. Find ways to release anger

My first recommendation is to write an angry letter. This is where you sit down in a quiet setting and let your pen do the work. You might start off slowly or you might have a lot to say, whatever comes out, let it flow freely. Don’t stop yourself and don’t be embarrassed for the words that come out. Understand you may have many years of angry emotions coming out on this paper. Don’t judge yourself, just let it go.

After you’re done writing you’re going to burn the paper you just wrote on. This isn’t to keep around the house, it isn’t to read again and it isn’t to show to anyone. Burn the paper and physically watch your anger dissolve into ashes.

Throwing ice cube (or jumping on them), difficult physical activity, hitting a punching bag or even screaming (where no one can hear you) are all great ways to release anger.

#4. There are no quick fixes

The sooner you realize there is no such thing as a quick fix the sooner you’ll able to start putting in work that is going to change your life and take you toward the direction of releasing anger.

We usually gain back what we lost if it’s a quick fix, if we took powders or pills, if it was a crash diet, if we joined a bootcamp for 3 weeks, it all comes back because there is no such thing as a quick fix. Start putting in the time and effort, lower your expectations of ‘over night results’ and you’ll give yourself a real chance at releasing anger.