Putting yourself first is something we all struggle with either all the time or most of the time. When it comes to women it seems like most of the time, for good reason though. Most women have that natural natural caring gene almost, where they take care of their significant other, they take care of their children and now with more women in the work force than ever, they take care of their jobs first. And what happens when it comes to them, what happens when it comes to putting yourself first, we rank ourselves at the very bottom putting everyone and everything else first.
I brought on Nicole Lacoursiere who is a certified personal trainer who knows first hand what’s it’s like to struggle with putting yourself first. Being a mother herself and career woman, Nicole has not only made life changes her self but she teachers other how to do the same as well.
Nicole was kind enough to guest post for us on this post where she’ll tell you exactly how she can relate to you in putting herself first:
Guest Post by Nicole Lacoursiere
Women have taken on the role of so many. They are now full time moms and full time workers, and because of this, they have lost the balance of themselves.
An average working mom gets up at 5am to get herself and her children ready, runs out the door telling her kids to hurry multiple times, and then rushes them to daycare so that she can drive 150 km/h down the Deerfoot to be in her corporate world by 8am. Then at 5pm, this same mom will speed back down the Deerfoot, pick up the kids, and get home around 7pm. She will then make supper, do laundry, help with homework, and get the kids into bed by 8-9pm. That is, if the children do not play a sport or participate in an extracurricular activity after school. Of course, we want them to do these things, but it is easy to see why so many parents are just unable to do it anymore.
Now it is time for her. Nowadays, most moms are spending hardly one hour on themselves per day. They can’t find time to meditate, read, grow, or even think. I often go back to a story that I was taught about a flashlight. If a flashlight only has half the battery life, it can only shine half as bright. Yet as humans we think that we can give our all when we are only charged to 50%.
Over the years I have shortened my appointment times because of time restraints and also because I feel people push harder when they have less time. Yet still, every single day I receive a cancellation from a super woman because she has to give her time to somebody else.
We live in a society that sees a man working out as dedicated, but a mom working out as selfish… and who created and allows this illusion? I believe it to be women. We as a gender have decided that we are valued by how much we can do. We have created this “Moms can do anything” mentality and have let ourselves and our own development go.
A couple months ago I went through what I have called an identity crisis. Since I was 20 I had been a full time mom. I got divorced 5 years ago and began a “one week on/one week off” schedule. I was of course a full time mom on my week on, but even in the week off I was always focused on getting ready for the week I’d get my girls back. This year my youngest moved out and I sat in tears wondering just what I would do with my life now. Who was I now that I wasn’t a full time, everyday mom? What would I do now that I could do anything? I found myself doing nothing but tearing up not knowing who I was.
Of course I know that I am always their mom, but not having it as a full time job anymore made me question who I was. Women lose themselves in the mom world. I know this because I did it, not consciously at the time, but I still did it. So I encourage women to take away all of their labels of “mom, business owner, wife, superwoman” and think about who they truly are. I think that the best way to teach is by doing. If you want your children to be superwomen that are there for everyone but lose themselves in the process, then keep doing what you are doing. If you want your kids to know that taking time for yourself makes you a better mom, a better wife, a better business owner, and a better person, then you need to make time for yourself.
I have said this for years and I will continue to say it. Three 30 minute workouts a week is only 0.04% of your week. You must allow yourself to see you as worth that time. It is up to women to make themselves a priority. It is not the world’s fault that we are often put second, it is our own. So if you don’t think that you are worth 0.04% of your week, then you may just want to ask yourself, WHY NOT?
Now, after all the tears, the journaling and the time spent asking, “What should I do now?”, I came up with this. I have learned so much through my years of training and through other people’s input and I want to share what I’ve learnt with you. I am learning to put myself first, to take time to improve myself each and every single day, and to be more SELF-FULL. The word selfish has been mutated in such a way that we associate it with the negative, so I’ve changed the word. I know that the more self-full I become, the more I will be able to help others become more self-full and that is in no way a selfish act.
Nicole and I are both personal trainers so this certainly was one of my easier and enjoyable interviews. It’s not always easy being the interviewer but I think I’m getting better at them. I really enjoyed talking to Nicole about putting yourself first though, with personal training and even on a personal level we deal with not putting yourself first or making time for your own needs on a daily basis, so it was good to hear someone else’s perspective.
Nicole is one of those few that I’ve found whom I’d call a real personal trainer. She trains people all day long (I don’t know how she does it) and is also very active on her social media pages which act as a constant reminder to her clients and followers. What’s great about that page is it’s constant, it might be hard to keep up with all the information she adds throughout the day but I’m sure it’s apprecaited by everyone that follows along, and the other reason I’m sure you’d enjoy following along is, it’s almost always original content (which is the way a page should be run) from Nicole herself.
If you’d like to follow along you her check out here Body By Nic Facebook page.
Thanks so much for coming on Nicole and fitting us into your busy schedule, I really did enjoy the interview and would love to have you back sometime soon. Thanks to our listeners as well, without a fan base we wouldn’t have much of a show. I also appreciate your likes, shares, comments and downloads and finally if you have any questions I’d be more than happy to answer them below. All the best in putting yourself first!